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Miss your turn? Here's what to do…

Today we were minding our beez on the return from one of our numerous errands. We noticed that traffic came to a complete stop for no reason. There was not an intersection, no driveway, no nothing at all! Well, apparently two older fellows had missed the turn for the apartment homes that one of them resided. The solution? Stop in the middle of the road causing everyone to lock it up and produce skid marks in a possible two locations. One guy got out and crossed the street to go back home. No need to turn around or pull off onto the next side street. Just stop and drop, problem solved!

Clowns will eat you…

..if you litter. I never really understand the concept of littering. I think a half-way intelligent person knows that you don’t throw garbage on the ground or out of your car window. In my years of driving I’ve seen lots of littering. Styrofoam cups of drink out a car window. Bags of McDonalds food with flying fries following after. I’ve seen bags of garbage fall out of the back of pickup trucks and burst open on the road. How can the driver not notice that? I guess they don’t check their rear mirrors every 8 seconds.

I’m guilty of tossing chewed fingernails, or an occasional booger out the window, but that stuff is bio degradable and not visible to the driver behind you. Unless your booger catches the airstream just right and sticks to the windshield of the car behind you. I’ve had people hock loogies out of the car in front of me and it hit my front window. Not cool,  if you hit the wipers and are out of fluid. You end up smearing lung butter all over your glass.

Cat Lover?

Sometimes, it’s obvious who doesn’t have kids.

Sometimes I Miss My Truck

I don’t remember getting cursed at by other drivers as much when I had my Chevy Silverado. There is an intimidation factor when driving a truck. I guess it depends on the type of truck you own too. You can still yell at people who drive stock Nissan Frontiers or Toyota Tachomas. However, that rule is thrown out the bigger the truck tires are or how high the little truck is jacked up. Also camouflage paint, exposed primer or dents with rust. Visible and stocked gun racks also negate that rule.

What I don’t miss about the truck is the gas mileage and the size of the tank on fill-ups. Since I work from home mostly that wouldn’t be such an issue considering my current car requires premium fuel. Since my wife wants to eventually own a pull behind camper, a truck is in the future.

Getting Directions in Atlanta

I received a Tomtom for Christmas and it comes in handy, unless you are inside a parking garage. You have to exit the garage and start heading in some direction until it finds a signal and tells you to make a left when you are in the far right lane. So it’s best to know what general direction you need to go beforehand. It never fails, to save time, Tomtom will guide you through the seedy parts of town where lots of neon signs flash inappropriateness and offer beverages of intoxicating benefits.

However if your navigation devices fails you, there are plenty of people downtown if need directions. Sometimes you have to wake them up by throwing coins at them. However, all directions are useless. “Yeah, just take Peachtree until you reach Peachtree and make a left on Peachtree, Then you will reach to the intersection of Peachtree and Peachtree. Then follow Peachtree until you reach your destination”.

Move Over?

It really doesn’t matter how fast you are going, there will always be someone on your bumper that will be inconvenienced. On the interstate, I’ve learned that if I do move over, the person who was checking my trunk contents will get in front of me and set their cruise control. Which causes me to have to pass them a few miles down the road.

As for this dude pictured above, he just guaranteed himself that I will drive the speed limit and follow every traffic rule. Any maybe I’ll pretend like I’m lost and take a few extra seconds at intersections while checking my iPhone maps.


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