Turn signals on motorized vehicles are no longer needed because they have lost their effectiveness.
Turning to Side street
If you see someone coming while exiting a subdivision, don’t trust their turn signal. You never know when someone forgot to turn it off or accidentally hit it. They can’t hear the audible clicking of the signal because they’re blasting their sub-woofers. You have to wait for them to commit to the turn.
Changing Lanes on Interstate
The only thing a turn signal is good for on the interstate is to let some know to speed up and block you from changing lanes. The only way to change lanes is to swerve and signal half way-through as to avoid a ticket.
Signalling to park will only invite others to steal the spot from you. Fist-a-cuffs will ensue. Just park far away from the store because exercise is good for you and getting your face broken is not good.
Who doesn’t love the beach? Well, I for one really do not care for it. The sand, the sunburn, the people. Anytime people get near water is seems their brain reduces functionality.
Setup fishing poles in front of other families so that children get caught in the lines and potentially get hooked. Bring games where you throw objects that land onto others beach area causing sand to fly onto them.
Bring Your Pets
Cats love the sand, it’s just one giant litter box. Buried treasure is always fun for kids when they go digging in the sand. Keep a dog tied up to a food filled wagon so he can eat his fill. Let him loose to swim and allow him to take a huge dump where others children are playing in the water.
Bring some Food
Seagulls love food as much as you do. Once they see that wonderful white bread they will terrorize anyone around. Feed them so that it becomes a problem for other families.
Booze it Up!
Even though the beach is alcohol free, bring your booze inside of a Sonic styrofoam cup or Gatorade bottle. You can still get drunk, obnoxious, and curse at the top of your lungs when your corn hole bag doesn’t hit the target. Don’t forget to blast profane music while your inhibitions are reduced causing you to grind each other on the beach.
With these tips, I’m sure everyone will have a good time at the beach.
Fireworks are nice, but not after 11pm, most people are attempting sleep after their ears have been damaged by decibels of destructive detonations. Fireworks are cool at first, but there’s always somebody who bought enough obliterate a small island.
I understand the fourth of July and New Years, but I think people just love the excuse to play demolition expert and terrorize cul-de-sacs and side streets. Here are a few fireworks tips to help you maximize this special day.
- Wait until it gets dark
- Put them away at 11pm
Happy Independence Day!
In my opinion this is the best Mac and Cheese that you will ever put in your face. Hope you enjoy it.
- 12oz Elbow Macaroni cooked and drained
- 2 beaten eggs
- 1.5 cups of milk
- 12oz can evaporated milk
- 1/4 cup melted unsalted butter
- 1 cup of Colby-jack cheese
- 1 cup of extra sharp cheddar cheese
- 1 cup of shredded Parmesan cheese
- 1 teaspoon of salt
- 1/2 teaspoon of pepper
- Mix and cook in crock pot for 1.5 to 2 hours.
- Serve with crumbled crispy bacon as a topper.
Do you get offended when you are last on the carbon copy (CC) list in an email? Should you be? I think so!
Last on the List
It’s like the person considers you an after thought. Especially if it’s really good news. For instance if there are free leftovers in the break room and you are overweight, then it’s like they are saying you shouldn’t eat because you are too fat.
First on the List
Being first on the CC list is offensive depending on the subject line of the email. If its about a procedure being violated or a new SOP, then you must be the worst offender or a trouble maker. It’s even worse if you are addressed and everyone else in the department is CC’d. For instance, when a new CIO takes over and he says to you that he doesn’t care if you wear jeans to work. The next day you wear jeans and your manager who doesn’t have this information yet, sends an email, address you solely, but CC’s the rest of the department. However, if it’s good news, such as free leftovers in the break room, then you should feel honored. Unless you are rail thin, which means your coworkers are trying to fatten you up.
Somewhere in between
You want to be nestled somewhere in the middle of the CC list. This usually means you are part of a group email or just on a short list of people who need to know stuff. This also means that you aren’t really that important either, you get lost in the shuffle and you will never get a raise or promotion because you lack initiative and goals. Wow, maybe it’s worse to be in the middle.
Of course all these rules are thrown out if someone uses an alphabetized email distribution list and your last name is Aaberg or Zywiec.