Sometimes you may notice it gets more difficult to breathe when you are sleeping. Unless your spouse is trying to smother you with a pillow, it’s probably your whole house air filter. Every so often I forget to change ours. If you let them go dirty long enough they start to whistle. No, that’s not a feature.
- Put a reminder on your smart phone to change them every 3 months.
- Use Amazon’s subscribe and save to deliver new filters every 3 months.
- Or you could wait for the dirt whistle, then go to the doctor for some antibiotics and a z-pak
I’m a fan of 3M Air filters, they seem to hold up pretty well. I also put a bit of essential oil upon first installation to help make the house smell like bacon. When I say essential oil, I mean bacon grease.
Once I was shopping and the cashier got angry at me because I put down that little bar that separates the groceries from one customer to the next. She said “Real cashiers don’t need that bar”
Sometimes you do need that bar. I wasn’t paying attention and someone else’s laundry detergent was being charged to my account. Instead of wasting time by walking all the way to customer service and back (Walmart). I simply said “enjoy your laundry on me”. Well, maybe that didn’t sound right.
<Picture of Cat Diarrhea Not Shown>
There have been many advancements in the cat food industry since the days of giant bags of dried up meat stars that chipped cat’s teeth with a painful sound as if they were eating river pebbles. Now we have refrigerated food at Target and pet fountains for the home. Since when did we start caring about giving our animals organic food and filtered water? Case in point, we bough one of those fancy recirculating water dishes that keeps the water from stagnating. However, as soon as the cat goes outside he sprints for the any diseased pocket of water on the ground that is the home of countless mosquito babies.
Purina One Healthy Metabolism is touted as being a low-carb solution for fat cats that need to shed some pounds. If you’ve ever been on a low carb diet then you know what happens if you don’t eat enough veggies to go with your meat, you get buckshot. Since cats are carnivores and only eat veggies to help them throw up, POHM has caused my cats defecation to become audible.
One evening I was sitting in my office with the window open when I heard a noise that sounded like a mallard’s quack while being submerged in a bowl of clam chowder. We purchased a new litter box called the Omega Paw Self-Cleaning Litter Box. It’s a nice dome shaped box that basically creates a sub-woofer effect that rockets the sound in a focused direction. We had to switch back to a senior formula and limit his portions. We were at the point of just putting his food dish outside of the litterbox so he can stick his head out to eat while he was constantly defecating.
But on a sadder note, it seems as this cat food has either caused or highlighted a intestinal problems. The cat is now on a high fiber diet with a pro-biotic.
- I wish Apple would come up with a way to record iPhone video and pictures that are at the correct aspect ratio. 99.9% of people do not have a vertical HDTV or monitor.
- People are always saying they are shocked at how fast their kids are growing up. They forget that time is a constant and it’s the same for everyone. Pay more attention.
- Can we upgrade the music in restaurants and grocery stores to a new decade? Perhaps we enter the era of the 90s as apposed to the 80s wretched music.
- The arrows in the parking lots exist because they tell you which way to drive. The reason you’re having such a difficult time parking is because you are going the wrong way.
- To the person who is pretending to not see me exiting from the shopping center onto the main street in heavy traffic, you are a jerk.
- When you hold a door open for someone and they walk in like you were supposed to hold it open.
- When a company repeatedly asks you to partake in an anonymous survey yet they know you haven’t completed it yet.
- As a kid I used to make fun of adults who wore socks and sandals. Now that I’m an adult, kids are wearing socks and sandals. Not just any socks and sandals, but black socks that are over the calf and slides. What am I missing?
- When traveling great distances, you can cover a lot of ground and make good time. However, there will be someone driving 10 miles under the speed limit or there is a wreck when you’re about 20 minutes from the house.
- If you have a treasured possession that you’ve packed away and you own a cat; rest assured that the cat will find said treasured possession and piss all over it months before it’s rediscovered during a move.
- Tax free weekends seem like a great idea! However, retailers will set everything back to MSRP to make up the difference. That’s why I shop at Amazon, plus someone delivers it and I don’t have to worry about people breathing on me.
- If you come to a four way stop and one of the four stop signs is missing, that doesn’t give you the right to blow through the intersection. The stop is still implied by the huge white mark at the intersection.
- If you are trying to sell something online and you offer a very reasonable price, someone will low ball you. If you are giving away something for free no doubt someone will ask for money to take it off your hands and want free delivery.
Camera Comparisons. Them: “Why did you decide to buy that camera?” Me: “Because I liked it” Them: “But there is a better one.” Me: “I know, but I like this one.”
The aggressive DirecTV people who ambush you at Best Buy. It’s enough to make you quit shopping there. Sam’s Club is now allowing this shenanigans, thus why I’m canceling my membership.
The needless sharing of photos on Facebook. If people wanted to find their long lost relative, there are plenty of more expeditious methods than flooding my news feed with your poorly written sign. On a side note. You shouldn’t have to get a million likes so that your children will clean up after themselves. You are the parent, make them do it, or put them up for adoption because you are failing them.
When you unsubscribe from an email list and they send you one more email letting you know that you’ve unsubscribed.
When people pull out from a side street causing you to lock up your brakes and there are no cars behind you.
Every store I shop at now has a nemesis ready for me. One that seems to follow me to every isle, is looking for the same item, or just knows to block my view. They are impossible to move around and they back up whenever they want to. Am I the only person who still uses their peripheral vision?
Drivers are increasingly disregarding human life… at the cross walk! Several times this week I’ve had to stop mid stride and duck for cover because someone didn’t notice I was walking. However, if a gaggle of geese are making their way across the road traffic ceases to a halt.
People who walk in the exit and walk out the entrance. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is to me for some reason.
I haven’t clipped a coupon in months, today I had to wait five minutes on a CSM because the register apparently needed a synchronous key turn from two managers for the coupon to be validated. I could feel the hatred shooting from the eyes of the other shoppers behind me.
Facebook has been really pushy lately about asking me where I’m from and where I grew up. Well that is a very interesting question.
Where am I from? Other than my mothers womb I really don’t know how to answer the question. I’m not sure where I was conceived because I don’t want to ask my parents questions like that. If you hold to a pro-life point of view that’s essentially where I’m from. I was born in a hospital in Charleston WV, so that is where I took my first breath outside of the womb. I guess there would be the next logical place. I was brought home to Rand WV lived there for awhile until we moved to Nitro WV. Then we moved to Newport News VA, Hampton VA, back to Nitro WV then finally to Mobile AL.
Another good question is: Where did you grow up? After I graduated college I moved to Charlotte, NC and met my wife. We soon packed our bags and moved to Memphis TN. If you consider growing up the place where you matured, became a true man of God, learned what it meant to be a husband and father then Memphis was the place I grew up. I learned how to be dependent on God and my wife as my true means of sanity and stability. Both of our children were born there and I understood that I’m not the most important person anymore.
At this point we are trying to grow some roots in the Charleston SC area. Still a lot of growing to do, and hopefully not rotting and withering.
In response to this ridiculous article
1. The Bible is the inerrant, infallible Word of God.
We have 5000+ manuscripts that have typographical errors, extra words, but not errors in the message. Reading verses in context by literary genre and keeping history in mind of who the book was written to doesn’t equate to errors. People often site this because something was written in Habakkuk that is contradicting something in Song of Solomon or something similar. It’s like reading the owners manual for my oven then trying to cook a hot pocket in the dryer.
2. We just believe the Bible.
John Owen said it best “If the scripture has more than one meaning it has no meaning at all”. The scriptures have one meaning, we get it wrong, but the Bible itself isn’t wrong. Denominations spring up out of peoples self interest and personal/political agendas as church history has shown us. God’s word has stayed the same despite that.
3. Jesus is the only way to heaven.
Keep in mind that Jesus said this and quite often.
Jesus, the Only Way: 100 Verses
4. The rapture of Jesus is imminent.
Imminent means quick or swift (ταχινός tachinos; late form of 5036; swift:—imminent(1), swift(1).)
It doesn’t mean Jesus is coming back soon, because nobody knows that (Matthew 24:36).
5. Homosexuality is a chosen lifestyle and it is a sin against God.
Let’s read the rest of 1 Corinthians 6:9
Seems like the sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, thieves, the greedy, the drunkards, revilers and swindlers (sorry Han Solo) are all chosen lifestyles too and considered sinful. Look to point #3 to get clean from all that.
By the way, chastity is also a chosen lifestyle (and a sin if you are Married).
6. The earth is less than 10,000 years old.
For one thing, the Bible doesn’t tell us how old the earth is. Science tells us how old the earth is, but science keeps getting things wrong and they have to keep updating “facts” based on new data discovered. Scientists also used to think the earth was flat and the sun revolved around the earth. Genesis is meant to narrate the creation chronology to a specific group of people about the one true God rather than the multiple Egyptian gods they were used to hearing about. Look at the 10 plagues to see how God debunked all the Egyptian Gods. Why not have Bible classes as an elective? Bible classes used to be required, much like “the religion of naturalism” is today.
As for the founding fathers, it breaks down like this. Of the 55 founding fathers only 3 were deists, 93% were Christians and 70% were Calvinists (considered the most extreme and dogmatic forms of Christianity).
Their beliefs? (from Faith of Our Fathers)
- Virtually all those involved in the founding enterprise were God-fearing men in the Christian sense; most were Calvinistic Protestants.
- The Founders were deeply influenced by a biblical view of man and government. With a sober understanding of the fallenness of man, they devised a system of limited authority and checks and balances.
- The Founders understood that fear of God, moral leadership, and a righteous citizenry were necessary for their great experiment to succeed.
- Therefore, they structured a political climate that was encouraging to Christianity and accommodating to religion, rather than hostile to it.
- Protestant Christianity was the prevailing religious view for the first 150 years of our history.
Finally, I find it very intolerant for this person to choose by faith rather than evidence that the Bible is full of errors, that Jesus isn’t the only way to heaven and we only need to love one another no matter what they do. Of course that’s just his interpretation…
A tip for young married couples or anyone newlywed for that matter. You may have think that your lovely bride has forgotten everything that you did wrong to her over the last few days, months, weeks, years. But when it comes time for a road trip, she has you right where she wants you. There is nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.
What is the lesson here? Listen to your wife, encourage her, and empathize with her. You say you do, but until really don’t. You have a choice to pay attention then, or pay attention while in the car together. Choose the first option.