What is the worst thing you've smelled?

I’ve got a pretty sensitive nose and I’ve always smelled everything since I was a kid. Have no idea why but whenever I pick something up no matter what it is I smell it.
Smell is also linked to memory somehow, so I guess that’s why I have a good memory.

Here are a few top choices for worst smelling things

  • The back of my ear after I forget to wash there for a few days (take your index finger swab the length of the back of your ear and try it)
  • A black head that you can’t reach on your back that has been growing without your knowledge until your wife wants to dig it out with a pair of tweezers.
  • A sippy cup of milk that has been under the seat for months until the stink escapes the one-way valve.
  • I used to own a toy called a Stink Blaster, fun to play with at work, had to keep it in a zip lock bag in the garage.

I know one smell that is supposed to smell good is leather. However, I now have a bad memory association with the smell of leather. Back in 10th grade my biology lab partner who would wear a leather jacket and forcefully belch up his stomach aromas at the desk. It always smelled horrible of course. So now when I pass a Wilson’s leather store at the outlet mall, I can also smell the school salad bar and whatever meat product they were serving that day. Thanks Mike!

Probably the worst thing I’ve ever smelled is when I got home from school one day in Nitro WV. As soon as I got out of the car it hit me like a sack of soiled diapers that had been setting out on the beach during the summer months. We finally traced down the source. Apparently there was a dead cow on the hillside and it was half way decomposed and apparently exploded.

By Steve Otey Posted in Random

The Yin and Yang of Everyday Life

yin: A drink of ice cold water after brushing your teeth with a minty toothpaste
yang: remembering that the cup you were using wasn’t rinsed after soaking your puresleep device

yin: Eating any flavor of Doritos that being with “Cool Ranch”
yang: Breaking a Dorito off at the gum line between your tooth

yin: Enjoying a chocolate ice cream cone after a satisfying meal on your luxury cruise vacation.
yang: Sitting on the toilet with it because you don’t have any room left after your sixth satisfying meal of the day.

yin: Enjoying both deviled and picked eggs at Easter dinner
yang: Turning the car ride home into a gas chamber and trying not to play egg drop.

By Steve Otey Posted in Random

Clowns eating children

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I think one of the major problems with clowns is the white face paint. The clowns teeth are never as white as the face paint so it highlights the yellow stains of the teeth. This will then make you think of how many children the clown has eaten that day…

Steak Stats

This is not a steak but a sculpture of a steak at the Weber Grill in Chicago. Steak is the only thing that keeps me from being a vegetarian. Well, bacon too, that would be hard to give up. Come to think of it, it would be hard to give up fish and chip and fried chicken. Well, there goes that idea.

As for steak, a wood fired grill with a nice rib-eye does the trick for me. Salt and pepper is all it needs. Seared on both sides at the highest temperature possible. Medium is the highest I’ll go on the cook time. No A1, no Heinz 57, no sauce whatsoever! Now I’m hungry.

By Steve Otey Posted in Random

Don't just say something, do something…

“If you need anything, just let us know….” When tragedy strikes someone is bound to pop up with this statement. This is one of the biggest pet peeve cop outs that really bothers me. Stop asking if somebody needs something, you know they do, just go and do something. Do it silently too, don’t make a spectacle of yourself. If that’s the case, then don’t do anything.

FYI: This is not directed at anyone in particular so stop being paranoid (that’s not directed toward anyone either)

By Steve Otey Posted in Random

Born in West Virginia

When I tell people I’m from West Virginia I usually hear. “Oh what part? I love Roanoke and the Shenandoah Vally!” I have to say. “You know West Virginia is a whole separate state right?”

It’s like having to explain to someone. “I’m from South Carolina” and hearing. “Oh, I just love the Charlotte area!”

By Steve Otey Posted in Random