Found these fall cards at target
So I guess we’ve slid down the slippery slope far enough that we are now making up holidays just to sell greeting cards.
What an insult to such a celebrated Christian Holiday. It’s now been reduced to a fowl that eats it’s own feces. In fact, I believe that deer was served at the first Thanksgiving. But I guess it’s not as funny to say happy venison day.
Yes another attempt to climb the corporate ladder and suck up to your boss. I guess the thinking behind this is: Let’s give a gift to someone who keeps track of how poorly we do all year and then give us just enough of a raise so that we don’t quit.
Reformation Day is celebrated on October 31st. Most pagans know this as Halloween. I fail to see any cards to celebrate this day in our history.
I’ve never seen such an egregious attempt at marketing fall as much as the media, Starbucks, Blue Moon and every other company with their aggressive force of shoving pumpkin scents and flavors into every one of our olfactory orifices. I used to love fall, but these seasonal effective marketing campaigns are about to ruin it.
Here are a few things to look for when someone opens your gift.
- They look at the tag of who it’s from in preparation for disappointment.
- The older the gifter is, the likelihood of disappointment of the giftee goes up.
- Puzzled look on their face once they open it.
- They look at all sides of the box
- Open the box all the way and start to investigate to see if there is another present in there you are going to surprise them with.
It is far better to give than receive, because you feel better about giving crappy presents than receiving a terrible one.
Fireworks are nice, but not after 11pm, most people are attempting sleep after their ears have been damaged by decibels of destructive detonations. Fireworks are cool at first, but there’s always somebody who bought enough obliterate a small island.
I understand the fourth of July and New Years, but I think people just love the excuse to play demolition expert and terrorize cul-de-sacs and side streets. Here are a few fireworks tips to help you maximize this special day.
- Wait until it gets dark
- Put them away at 11pm
Happy Independence Day!
I have a long history of terrible valentines days. Probably the worst is when I sent my bride-to-be dead black roses. I ordered them from a fresh cut flower place online. I guess they cut them wrong. Instead of telling my fiancee that I loved her, I was sending her a message of death.
One year I didn’t realized that a certain restaurant needed reservations for Valentines day. So after being mocked by the host, I ended up picking up Taco Bell. We used our wedding china and it was actually more romantic than the The Melting Pot could ever be.
Last year I was out of town for work and both of my children had fits of vomiting and diarrhea. Not a fan of VD. Do y’all have any VD disasters?