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How to Tell If Someone Doesn't Like a Gift

Here are a few things to look for when someone opens your gift.

  • They look at the tag of who it’s from in preparation for disappointment.
  • The older the gifter is, the likelihood of disappointment of the giftee goes up.
  • Puzzled look on their face once they open it.
  • They look at all sides of the box
  • Open the box all the way and start to investigate to see if there is another present in there you are going to surprise them with.

It is far better to give than receive, because you feel better about giving crappy presents than receiving a terrible one.

Happy Keep your Neighbors up with Fireworks Day!

Fireworks are nice, but not after 11pm, most people are attempting sleep after their ears have been damaged by decibels of destructive detonations. Fireworks are cool at first, but there’s always somebody who bought enough obliterate a small island.

I understand the fourth of July and New Years, but I think people just love the excuse to play demolition expert and terrorize cul-de-sacs and side streets. Here are a few fireworks tips to help you maximize this special day.

  • Wait until it gets dark
  • Put them away at 11pm

Happy Independence Day!

Happy VD!

I have a long history of terrible valentines days. Probably the worst is when I sent my bride-to-be dead black roses. I ordered them from a fresh cut flower place online. I guess they cut them wrong. Instead of telling my fiancee that I loved her, I was sending her a message of death.

One year I didn’t realized that a certain restaurant needed reservations for Valentines day. So after being mocked by the host, I ended up picking up Taco Bell. We used our wedding china and it was actually more romantic than the The Melting Pot could ever be.

Last year I was out of town for work and both of my children had fits of vomiting and diarrhea. Not a fan of VD.  Do y’all have any VD disasters?

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