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That’s a really great Whore Story

When describing an unpleasant experience avoid the phrase “Horror Story”, it sounds too much like “Whore Story”. I prefer the term Nightmare. However, you have to be specific that you aren’t talking about nocturnal horses. Context also helps.

How to end a conversation

Some people just don’t know when to quit talking. There are few things you can do to ease the conversation to an end.

  • Play with your smart phone
  • Start making eye contact with other people as they walk by with “Help me” eyes
  • If you see a person with said “Help me” eyes, call them on their phone and save them.
  • Have children under the age of 5
  • Start asking really personal questions
  • Start talking about Jesus

Hostile at the Hampton

Things probably could have went horribly wrong at my recent stay at a Hampton Inn. There was a traveling baseball team, who pretty much devoured all the food at breakfast if you didn’t wake up in time. I’m guessing one of the coaches or older brothers was having a bit too much to drink late one evening and starting hollering at me as I entered the snack area.

Him: “Who do you play for?!”

I made a quick pivot towards the direction of the yelling. My natural reaction which isn’t usually the best, but it didn’t seem to back him down at all. He walked towards me getting in my face, the vapor trail of alcohol soon followed.

Him: “Do you play for Bartlett?”
Me: “What?”
Him: You cool with Justin Timberlake and all that S#!t”?
Me: “I don’t even know what you are trying to ask me.”
Him: “Someone stole my M…F..in’ lunch today…”
Me: “They have a good breakfast here, hope you enjoy it”
He kept talking while I walked away…

I looked for a bluetooth earpiece, or maybe he was so drunk that he was about to pass out. Who knows…

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