Pepsi Next Review

I noticed that Wal-mart had the new Pepsi Next on sale for a $1 per 2-liter, I thought I would give it a try. It tastes like the regular High Fructose Corn Syrup infused Pepsi with a slight after taste that Sucralose gives you. You get the benefits of not telling your brain that you are full with a slight hint of loose stool and heart trouble via Sucralose. I have noticed today that I have a bit of the gurgles in my lower intestine. That’s probably the Pizza Hut grease fighting with the undigested Sucralose particles.

I’m still of fan of Pepsi Max, I would like to see a Pepsi line that has 50/50 cane sugar with Stevia. I would pay more for that. Not that I’m paying enough now for the same product. Really, who can afford soda anymore? You can only buy soda when it goes on sale or a BOGO. They are trying to fool us with these 1.25 liter bottles at the grocery store for 99¢. Eventually 2-liters will disappear and we will be paying 2-liter prices for these 1.25 liter offerings. Maybe we should drink more water?

How to go to sleep earlier

During the “spring forward” many complain about losing the hour of sleep. Well if you go to bed one hour earlier you can counter act this discrepancy. You might say, “I have trouble falling asleep!” Well I’ve I had my wrestle with insomnia and let me tell you about this product.

Non-habit forming and not as dangerous as radioactive butterflies. I had my rounds with prescription sleeping pills and this one works just as well if not better than anything I’ve tried. They smell like death, but maybe that’s why they work so good.

NBA Jam Double Entendre Edition

NBA Jam is one of my all time favorite games. I was excited when it became available for download via the PlayStation Network. My kids will watch the game as I play it. It was quite funny to hear my 2 year old say. “You bring the mashed potatoes, and I’ll bring the turkey”. The game is rated E for Everyone, however, there are some catch phrases in the game that have caused me to turn the announcer volume all the way to zero.

Phrases like…

“Junior snooping through the top drawer, finds the nylon” and one variation that references “panties”.
“Not cool, dude! You shot blocked me.”
“Get that weak shiitake mushroom out of here!!”
“Like my wife always says.. not tonight!”
I really hope my thoughts aren’t correct for “Two guys, one dunk”. What is that supposed to mean?

Still a fun game to play.

Revv Pulse Plus Pounding Panic

I drank two of these in one day. They are no joke. Woke up with in the middle of the night with a severe panic attack. I swear the ghosts of Ethiopian Goat Herders were trying to harvest my internal organs. Use with caution. You will see things you can’t explain and feel your heartbeat in your fingertips.

Almost home…

It never fails, you’ve been on the road for hours upon hours. You’ve tried to hold your urine as long as possible because you want to make it home without using another filthy gas station toilet. Last twenty minutes or so before you reach your destination, a car darts out in front of you. There was clearly no one behind you for 30 miles, but they felt this was the best chance they had to enter the roadway. This causes your brake pads to become one with the rotors as it sends your leftover Popeye’s chicken crumbs flying on the dashboard.

They are in no hurry either! They cautiously slow down at every side street just in case there is someone dumb enough to pull out in front of them. By now you can feel the bladder distension and infection forming from all the Pepsi max and Revv coffee that has been brewing in there all day. You then realize this person in front of you lives just down the street and you will be following them all they way to your house. Time to look for one of those empty Pepsi max bottles….